The ways adolescents communicate with romantic partners have changed with digital technologies. Teens can now text and video call each other, sometimes constantly. They can also co-participate in virtual activities, such as online games. These digital channels have modified how youth experience romantic relationships. But are these changes good? Or have they prevented teens from having fulfilling relationships in the digital era? 

Research findings on the effects of digital technology on teen relationships are inconsistent. This is because each teen will have a unique and nuanced experience when using digital tech in their relationship.

Importance of Teen Romantic Relationships

Children aren’t born knowing how to navigate relationships. They must learn these skills through social interactions. For teens, romantic relationships are one way to develop these skills. With early romantic partners, youth can develop the foundational skills for healthy adult relationships. They can also explore their developing emotions and identities. Being part of a romantic couple may even boost a teen’s self-confidence and overall well-being.

Challenges of Digital Tech Use in Teen Relationships

Digital technologies can both enhance and hinder teen romantic relationships. One of the biggest potential downsides of communicating by digital messaging as opposed to in person is fewer face-to-face interactions. This can mean reduced physical and emotional intimacy. It can also change how youth develop socially. This is because digital conversations lack contextual cues (e.g., visual). As a result, youth need to find new ways to communicate their tone. These challenges can cause misunderstandings, leading to conflict. Conflict over digital channels is, in turn, difficult to resolve because of lost nuance.

The asynchronicity of digital channels also makes it difficult to resolve conflict online. Teens don’t have to respond to their partners’ texts immediately. They can even “block” them. These maladaptive strategies for managing conflict may carry over offline. Additionally, it is easier for relationship abuse to occur digitally than offline. One reason for this is that there are fewer bystanders to witness the online abuse. People can also hide or alter their identities online, reducing accountability. 

Benefits of Digital Tech Use in Teen Relationships

Despite these concerns, some youth will benefit from using digital devices in their relationships. One example is marginalized youth (e.g., sexual/gender minorities). These teens can use digital channels to develop relationships away from public scrutiny. This privacy can help their relationships flourish and protect them from hate crimes. Similarly, digital devices allow teens to meet people outside of their hometowns. This geographical flexibility could lead to fulfilling relationships with like-minded individuals. For marginalized youth, these opportunities can be especially life-changing.

Another benefit of digital tech in relationships is that online content creation gives teens creative ways to express themselves. For socially awkward youth, these channels may be one of the best ways for them to connect with others. Teens may also find it easier to disclose personal information online, which could improve relationship vulnerability.

When it’s Good and Bad

Some features of digital tech have consequences that can be both good and bad in teen relationships. For example, increased accessibility allows teens to be “available” for their partners more often. Having an increased presence in each other’s lives could improve relationship satisfaction. This is particularly true for busy teens or couples who see each other infrequently.

There is a downside to increased availability, though. Being “available” 24/7 can create unrealistic expectations where teens require their partners to respond to them immediately, regardless of time. This can cause stress and lead to relationship conflict. Most kids’ experiences with digital tech in their relationships will fall into this grey area of positives and negatives.

Takeaways

There is no clear evidence to suggest that digital communication does more harm than good in teens’ relationships. The bigger picture suggests that each teen will have unique experiences with these technologies. This means that some youth will benefit more than others. 

A factor that influences these effects is the social and emotional maturity of the couple. Couples who effectively communicate offline can use these skills online. Navigating relationship expectations both online and offline is also important. Nonetheless, youth still need to learn how to adapt their skills to digital channels.

Another factor influencing these effects is personal need. Some youth need more physical intimacy to feel satisfied than others. Additionally, some adolescents are most comfortable communicating virtually. For these teens, digital communication might be the best way to enhance their relationships.

Young people’s romantic lives are extremely important to them, [and] technology remains a very important part of mediating that experience and a very normal part of adolescent dating.

Sarah Flicker, PhD Professor, York Research Chair (Tier2) in Community-Based Participatory Research, Environmental Arts & Justice Coordinator, York University